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O Melhor do Twitter: Edição “De olho no Lance”

Lúcio Ribeiro

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Muita emoção. O primeiro OMDT de 2013! E quando a gente começava a se preocupar, porque a semana estava tranquila (isso é chato ~a nível de~ tuírer, né?), vem a Oprah e PÓIN! E daí você está lá tenso pelo lance/Lance e vem o Riquelme e PÓIN! E os tweets viram uma avalanche e nem dá para acompanhar mais nada. Para melhorar, nesta semana tivemos os ''Stones brasileiros'' no BBB e a grande Lei da Moral. E dos Bons Costumes. No Rio. De Janeiro. Piada pronta. Vai que é tua!

 

@FabioRex Zezé, polessa ce não espelava.

‏@AndreBarcinski Alguém sabe se o ProTools consegue fazer o Mojica dizer ''Tom Zé'' em vez de ''Tão Zé''?

‏@GuyFranco Ontem eu vi uma propaganda sem o Reynaldo Gianecchini.

‏@Hot_Chip Doing my tax return. Discovering some weird stuff amongst the receipts, eg the original lyrics to I Feel Better: pic.twitter.com/FJzPYlLU

‏@Queen_UK The snow must go on!

‏@joshacagan Fun Fact: Jodie Foster's entire speech is the title of the next Fiona Apple album.

‏@hectorlima Gif fofo da Adele dando high-five no 007 [chupa, antis – pra ficar bem ca muié] http://twitpic.com/bv06ha 

‏@mordomoeugenio E no final de A Viagem que a tia das legendas colocou um aviso '' não saia antes de ver quem é quem'' rsrsrsrs

‏@AndreBarcinski ''Achei um dos melhores do Tarantino. Dou nota 8 (de 0 a 100).'' 2013 já tem sua melhor frase.

@Alelex88 A mulher curvilinda é a nova gordelícia

‏@lilianeferrari Tenho um amigo q fala: 'qdo vc estiver cansadíssima, pára e pensa na comissária maquiada, penteada e sorrindo'. Melhoro na hora

@arnaldobranco Estava caminhando no lixo quando esbarrei em um trecho de calçada, devem ser vestígios de uma antiga civilização

‏@hectorlima Nao tirei foto por achar sacanagem mas tinha um cara na minha frente na escada rolante com uma camisa em que se lia ''missão impossívio''

‏@subversiva Destinos piores que a morte -> carnaval em Salvador

‏@thepatrickwalsh Jesus Christ, did I date Adobe Reader at some point?

‏@elgroucho Sempre que tô lendo um txt e a página recarrega automaticamente sinto a internet apontando pra minha camisa e dando um peteleco no meu nariz

@hadoucken Conselho pra quem pensa em emprestar dinheiro: melhor ser antipático negando do que ser antipático cobrando

@_fransuel QUANDO UM VEGETARIANO VAI NA SUA CASA VOCE OBRIGA ELE A COMER CARNE? ENTAO PQ QUANDO EU VOU NA CASA DE UM VEGETARIANO SOU OBG A COMER SOJA?

@manubarem Na minha timeline só reclamam de quem reclama do texto da babá. Estamos dando volta na polemica e jaja estaremos prontos pra criar uma

‏@inagaki Mulher do texto da babá is the new enfermeira que matou o Yorkshire.

‏@subversiva O texto sobre a babá apenas prova que dinheiro não compra uma boa redação

‏@arnaldobranco O lance do texto da babá é o seguinte: acho que só vi alguém tão confortável com a própria vilania no monólogo do Ricardo III

@arbustus Um filme de terror chamado ''Querido, você não percebeu nada de diferente em mim?''

@livbrandao ''Roupa de ficar em casa'', um conceito inexistente na dramaturgia nacional.

‏@oimperador O nome do cara que pode tirar o ciclismo das Olimpiadas é Dick Pound. Isso mesmo, Quilos de Rola.

‏@_fransuel BOMBA: RIQUELME ACERTA COM CLUBE BRASILEIRO. EM 2013 ELE VAI JOGAR NA PELADA DO ''AMIGOS DO ZIDANE''

‏@oclebermachado As presenças de Lúcio, Dida, Zé Roberto, Seedorf e, talvez, Riquelme, colocam o futebol brasileiro em outro patamar: o de dez anos atrás.

@FChiorino O ''só falta assinar'' é o ''meio grávida'' do futebol brasileiro / isso aê

‏@Tonkiel Riquelme apanhando da guarda municipal na praça roosevelt

@manubarem Riquelme na lista de espera do Outback do Bourbon

@fcorazza Riquelme telefonando pro Seedorf e perguntando se os caras pagam mesmo ou é pegadinha

@cesarotti Matérias com Riquelme comendo bife de chorizo em restaurante argentino de Moema

‏@r0cc0 Riquelme faltando jogo pra ver a novela

‏@Tonkiel Riquelme pedindo pro taxista tocar pra m'boi mirim

‏@alesqui Riquelme arrotando pimentão recheado da L'Osteria.

@giseleberto Riquelme querendo trocar pontos na nota fiscal paulista

‏@piercethevine Riquelme fazendo pirocóptero pra torcida

@felipematano Riquelme sendo atacado por ursos em Serra Negra.

@AlbertoLage Riquelme parado do lado esquerdo da escada do metrô.

‏@james_pmc Riquelme travando a fila do cinema na hora de escolher o lugar

‏@mauriciostycer Dhomini: ''Quem te chamou de falso foi o Pedro Bial''… Elieser: ''Vc me chamou de idiota. Sou formado e pós-graduado''.

‏@alvaroleme Adicionando Eliéser no Linkedin agora mesmo

‏@LipeBasilio Não vejo a hora do povo realmente se apaixonar pelos BBBs e sair fazendo tatuagem <3

‏@marcelows ''Barão vermelho, os STONES brasileiros'' – Lispector, Bial #BBB13

‏@janessacamargo O bial disse stones brasileiros? Putz gente, não deixem crianças assistirem a globo

@phelipecruz Eu só gritei por causa da festa do BBB quando o Bial anunciou o Barão Vermelho como ''os Stones brasileiros''.

‏@mauriciostycer ''Os Stones brasileiros''. Com todo respeito, chama o Procon

‏@katylene Se eu entro no bbb só pra ver show bom e me vestem de grease pra ver baraão vermelho eu ia ficar POOTA

‏@chicobarney Maior publico do frejat desde 2002

‏@Estadao Lei da moral e dos bons costumes, de Myrian Rios, é aprovada no Rio: http://migre.me/cRVLX  (via @jornaloglobo)

@Tonkiel Cabral aprova lei da moral e dos bons costume. no rio de janeiro. moral e bons costumes. no rio. moral. janeiro. bons costumes.

‏@mkarl Depois da aprovação da ''Lei da Moral e dos Bons Costumes'' no RJ, tive que mudar o meu vôo para Guarulhos

‏@celsodossi Você dá um google no nome da autora da lei da moral e dos bonscostumes e cai nessa foto: http://tinyurl.com/bf64pe8

@gravz Los Hermanos: outro mau costume do RJ que vez por outra retorna. Espero que a Lei abranja esse caso.

‏@canalglobonews Lance Armstrong admite casos de dopping a Oprah Winfrey –#globonews

‏@marvio Grandes entrevistas da humanidade: Frost x Nixon, Oprah x Armstrong, Ronaldo x Poeta, @rogerioskylab x Jô.

@khayadlanga Oprah > Lie detector test

@joaovale Deviam acabar com o controlo anti-doping e passava tudo pela Oprah no final de cada etapa.

‏@FrancisKSDickoh Joke of the Day: What was the secret behind Lance Armstrong's success?! -He was always POSITIVE!

‏@What_Liam_Said I think everyone should get off Lance Armstrong's back about this cycling stuff. He landed on the moon for gods sake.

‏@szabatura Queria dar uma entrevista para a Oprah apenas para admitir que só fiz besteira ano passado.

@paul_tomkins And people thought Armstrong wasn't doping? #evidence pic.twitter.com/9pf4VHoS

‏@shin70 O caso Lance me lembrou de uma das melhores gírias que caíram em desuso: 'Nossa, o cara tá Ben Johnson' (alterado, olhos vermelhos)

@r0cc0 E as viúvas do lance armstrong?

@sete Falar mal do Lance Armstrong é facil, quero ver subir a Aimberê de bike sem um plus a mais.

@BBCSporf BREAKING: Live pictures from America, as Lance Armstrong is spotted cycling back from the Oprah Winfrey interview. pic.twitter.com/F8cQv9ru

‏@_fransuel PASSEI ANOS USANDO PULSEIRINHA ARMSTRONG EM PROL DA VIDA PRA DEPOIS ELE VIR FAZER UMA PALHAÇADA DESSA DE USAR TOXICO

‏@arnaldobranco O Lance Armstrong confessando o doping só agora foi meio como o Ricky Martin quando saiu do armário

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